Broken Crying Scared And A Little More Dead Inside
by icarly roxs my soxs
Summary: late to icarly one night freddie and carly begin to get worried. what happens when icarly is hacked and sam is forced to confront her feelings? I DONT OWN ICARLY... READ AND REVIEW..
1. Chapter 1

Tuesday 25th may 2009

Dear diary

"I hate you" he said.

"I hate you too" I said realising i was lying. I didn't hate him. I, I, I loved him.

Not before but after our first kiss it was all clear, I didn't bully him because I couldn't stand him. It was because it was the only attention i got from him. Well he wasn't just my first at kissing either later on we got a bit further. Well that was six months ago and i am sat here clutching my stomach and carrying my own mistake. Only three more months left.

I know what you are probably thinking, no i don't like Gibby or Jermy or anyone else i torment. I did that for fun and in a totally different way to Freddie. I called them names and gave them wedgies. But i didn't have arguments or do bets or get fiery like i did with Freddie.

I'll write later diary.

Got to go do Icarly and get Fredfreak to drink liquidized cottage cheese for losing a bet live on icarly.

A confused Sam!!!

Sam POV

Well i am walking to Carly's now. Bored out of my mind and in need of ham. SHIT icarly starts in 5minuets and walking it takes about 10 more minutes.

I quickly got out my phone and texted carly:

**Sorry will b 10 mins l8 wait 4 me or just stall okaiis **

**Soooo sorry!!! O_o**

Good now i don't need to rush. What the hell?

Someone has their hand over my mouth i can't scream or breathe because they are pinching my nose. My phone crashes to the floor the back coming of the battery flying into the road and the screen going blank.

I am seriously panicking now i am blindfolded and have been put into a car...... well it smells like a car anyway. My wrists are tied to my legs and i am so uncomfortable. There are voices i can recognise them but can't remember who they belong to. Ughh this is so annoying this one person is constantly sneezing. Wait he sounds like Jermy.

The other one sounds like....... GIBBY!! Wait is that Ruben. Eww are they gonna force me to go on a date with him. NO-WAY.

Ahh. Hahahahaa this must be some very bad dream or messed up sick joke.

I can hear the car stop and the doors close. Thank fucking god. WAIT are they gonna leave me here.

Nope Gibby just dragged me out of the car and into this cold room.

Carly pov

Okay where is Sam she said she would be here over an hour ago. Me, Spencer and Freddie are freaking out. It's okay Carly, Sam's gonna be fine right?

We had to do all of the skits without Sam. Freddie shouted in the middle of the webcast "where the hell is Sam? For god's sake she should know what time to be here by now."

Two minutes later our viewers got to see Mrs Benson shouting at Freddie for using such bad language. Then talking about the good old days with her son when he would gladly wear his anti-bacterial underpants and thought the tick baths were fun. She then burst into tears and we had to finish early calming her down. Freddie didn't even help instead he just stood there horrified that everyone knew he had tick baths and that his underwear was anti-bacterial.

Nothing happened after that. We are checking icarly at the moment. Freddie stopped reading the comments an hour ago because they were all about his crazy mother and people saying they never knew tick baths or anti-bacterial underwear was real.

NOOOOO. Someone has hacked into icarly. This is NOT good.

Sam pov

Finally my blindfold is off. There stood the soon to be victims. They will pay the ultimate price. That can wait till later as Jermy has a gun and Gibby has a knife. Never thought i would see any of them hold such a dangerous object. If Jermy sneezes now i will die.

"Ruben what the hell is going on?" i asked coldly.

"Awww sweetie don't say it like that. We're gonna have loads of fun. All of icarly fans will be able to see as well. But only your face and will only be able to hear us talk and your screams baby. Then it will run like honey in an apple pie."

"No-no no."

Well i am being ignored completely. I am totally freaked out they have taken off my shoes and socks.

"I'll take it from here" said Ruben with a sleazy tone of voice.

They put on black full masks so you cannot see their face. Is that a camera? Why is it facing me?

"We are chooo connected achoo to achoo icarly" said well.... sneezed Jermy.

Icarly live to icarly. What do they want from me?

This is a question I really don't want to find the answer to!

Freddie pov

"Carly I knew you would change your mind." I was so happy she loved me back she wouldn't call me like that otherwise.

"I don't love you Freddie. Someone has hacked into icarly."

"Oh." I can feel my cheeks go a deep crimson and my palms sweat uncontrollably from embarrassment.

Me and carly aren't doing icarly now. Why are there a live feed and a live video streaming. Only ten seconds in lets watch.

We sat there and hooked the laptop into the T.V so that we could watch the video better.

It worked let's play from the start. There is Sam sat on a stone floor.

Broken. Crying. Scared. Unsamlike. A person in a black mask came to the camera and said in a high squeaky voice "we have Sam. Let's get on with the show and payback Sam. This should be good for everyone that hates her but for those that love her, carly and Freddie this will be... well heartbreaking."

He walked over to her and snogged her. The camera on zoom so that you could see him lick her face and her mouth. He undone her jacket and threw it across the room he then pulled her i heart death top above her head showing her bra. She whimpered as he got to her skinny jeans and pulled them off so all that she was wearing was her underwear. This is not good.

" GET IN HERE NOW IT'S URGENT" i screamed as loud as i could manage.

My mom is a cop see so she could help us find her as quickly as possible. She came in crying, tears streaming her face.

"I've seen it" she said barely a whisper. "I'll start looking for her now. Write down any clues from the video. Okay? Tell me if you find anything I will call you when I get news" she said whilst walking out of the apartment.

All three of us, me, carly and Spence sat around the telly making notes about the first part of the video. Now he is unbuttoning her jeans. A shiver ran down my spine as my heart broke more at the site of her so helpless. This is too far he started feeling her breasts and in-between her legs. She was sat in a seat with her body tied down. The camera moved closer and a knife was drawn. The man started to carve into her stomach as Sam screams pierced my ears. When he was done he wiped away the blood to show that it said "My properties do not touch" if it wasn't painful enough for her he slapped her stomach and dripped candle wax into her open wounds. She was undone and a hopeful look spread across her face only to be filled with despair as she looked into the distance.

The knife was now replaced with a baseball bat he forced her to lie on the ground. She did as she was told. He beat her hip hard and she screamed "not near there you will kill it. I DONT WANT IT TO DIE!!!!!" i was the only one who understood what she said.

Sam pov

"well sam what do you mean?" Ruben said innocently.

"I'M PREGNANT. I DONT WANT MY BABY TO DIE!" i screamed angry that he could have killed something that had been a part of me for three months.

"so i am not going to be the first person you slept with but i will be the second soon enough. I was your first kiss though."

"wrong. Freddie was my first kiss, and the , the , the father of my child. Well if it survives that is. What do you want from me Ruben? Do you want to see me break into a million pieces? Say i'm sorry? Promise i wont pick on Gibby r geremy again? Do you want to see who i am as a person or use me, stamp my stomach and prove dominance? You have made a mark on me that will never go and i hate you for it!!!!"

"So you had a one night stand with Freddie. He will be watching this you know. I wish i could see his face when i break the love of his life and kill his child."

"You can't kill it i won't let you and i am not the love of his life that is carly. Can't you see it he says it all the time."

"i can tell by the way he looks at you that he likes you and you like him. I hate him for stealing you like a nickel in a pie shop. Screw him we will kill this baby and make our own."

"NO. He doesn't love me like i did and don't dare kill this child my hand are free i could hurt you."

He held a gun up to my head. "really would you?"

He felt my stomach. "Babies bump all ready. A living baby with a beating heart. I wonder if we will hear it stop."

"i will perform a caesarean and deliver the baby. Your belly is quite large how did you hide it and how far on are you?"

"Six months, i hardly go to school anyway and when i did go in it was only for a few lessons. I wore a lot of layers. Please don't operate it could die."  
i sobbed into my hands. They lay me on a table and strapped me down. Ouch a needle was put in me and i am going to sleeeep.

Freddie pov

"omg he is Ruben. Call my mom carly i need to know what will happen to sam and the baby"

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as something was injected into her arm.

A large cut was made on her lower stomach and blood poured out.

Ruben took of his mask since everyone knew it was him and stuck his hand in the hole. He made another cut and pulled out a very small still baby. He cut the cord and left sam lying there. The baby didn't cry or move. He brought it close to the camera and said "ha it is alive and is a boy. You'll never guess what there another one in her."

A shocked and scared look plastered my face. He placed it in the blood soaked chair then pulled out the other one. The baby boy cryed from the chair.i felt a wave of relif hit me. The other baby was brought to the camera crying and ruben said " Hey benson looks like you got one of each. Boy and a girl."

The door burst open "FREDWARD BENSON YOU GOT SAMANTHA PUCKETT PREGNANT WITH TWINS." My mom ran at me.

" i know where they are Freddie and you two come with me or all three of them are going to die"

We all ran to the car and drove until we stopped outside a house. Mom gave us all a shotgun and pulled her own out of her pants. We followed her silently to door then burst it open.

They instantly dropped everything and a siren was hear outside.

Sam was just coming to as the police took them away. I lifted her up into my arms after untying her then walked towards our children. WOW that sounded freaky. Carly passed them both to sam who held them closely to her body. Crying into their skin. I kissed her lips softly hoping to ease the pain and suffering she had went though. Then i said it i told her i loved her. And she gave me a kiss in reture and said she loved me to. More than i could imagine.

My mom came over and said "can i hold one of my grandchildren please?"

Sam was put in the ambulance with me and my mum sat next to her holing the twins all arguing over names.

We went with Lillie Benson for the girl and James benson for the boy.

I chose lily because tiger lilies are Sam's favourite flower and James after my grandfather.

Everything will be fine now.

Carly pov

25th may 2027

I am so excited it is lilies and James' birthday. They are eighteen now. Sam and Freddie got married thirteen years ago when they were eighteen. Me, Sam and Freddie are thirty one. I have a nine year old jay and a six year old vicki i am married to Jake Krandle. Amazing i know. Freddie and sam have Lillie, lucas, rosie, Johnny, Mae and Hillarie.

Lillie Benson and James Benson are eighteen.

Lucas Benson is thirteen.

Rosie is twelve.

Johnny is nine.

Mae is five.

Hillarie is two.

And Sam is pregnant with triplets.

I might have one or two more if not i am fine with two.

Me and Sam are film stars and Freddie directs films and Jake writes scripts and songs. We are very famous but aren't brats or divas.

We share a house together and Mrs Benson or Spence and his wife Carrey look after the children when we are gone. Spencer has two children sculpto who is seven and arty who is three.

At this time of year there is happiness and despair. Sam has memories flood back to her. This year will be bad as she is carrying triplets at the same amount of months as the incident. She sits and stares at the scars that rip her soul apart every time she reads them. She puts on a brave face for the children though. This year she is going to show the twins what happened the day they were born. The whole video and tell them how she felt. The video went on until everyone had gone out of the room.

She will show them her scars and open the box of thoughts that she hoped would never come back. Replaying the day over seeing it as Freddie and the rest of the world saw it. Icarly carried on. Infacts it is still going on now but our children are involved as well and we got the video of the site and made it so that no-one can hack it. We even go around with bodyguards because of how scared she gets and how paranoid Freddie is over the safety of his family and friends. but were okay.

Icarly starts in 5..4..3..2..

"Hey i'm sam and its my kidos birthday. For those of you who remembered how these kids were brought into the world we are going to show them after the show. I want to apologise again for those who saw it i could not control anything and i am sorry for the parents of the people who saw it. I am also sorry for not trying harder to stop it." Said sam.

The children looked at her as her eyes filled up in tears.

Freddie put the camera down and switched to camera B. "sam it wasn't your falt it was Ruben for doing that to you and the twins and gibby and jermy. You cant blame your self they are okay you are aswell."

"i have a constant reminder on my stomach. I cant shower without that day coming back. I cant let my own kids see my tummy get bigger because the scars do to and i don't want them to see but i will have to tell the twins soon. It is my fault they could have died. I could have died. If you hadn't come in at that moment it would only be you and carly sat beside my grave with a bouquet of flowers. Don't pretend it is alright because it isn't. It never will be because a part of me is missing broken. Dead never coming back."

"ermm er. We are going to show you this video of a man eating his shoes and sock okay? Okay."

"sam i don't get it no-one died."  
"one of the babies did. A girl she died in hospital when we arrived. I called her Charlie. Every year on this day i go to her grave no-one but me knows about because i didn't want to hurt you. I was the only person to hold her cold stiff body. She had a slit down the middle of her stomach where the knife went. I went though the pain of seeing that feeling it for eighteen years. I have a box with a lock of her hair and a picture of her dead body. I have the blancket she was wrapped in and a flower that went down with the coffin. So its not okay it is far from it. I will be by her grave if anybody wants me. The details are in the box next to the clothes that were put on her in hospital after she was born. See ya!!!!!!!!!!!"


	2. Chapter 2

Sam pov

Okay I am sat at my Charlie's grave like every other year but I told them the secret and when I go back I will have to say everything about that day. Everything, to my children the two surviving one that were born during that ordeal. I can't hide my feelings anymore it is eating me alive. The fact that because I wouldn't date someone and bullied a couple of people caused my daughter's death. It was my entire fault. But no one would admit it. Well Ruben did do the damage to me and technically killed my Charlie but it all came down to this. That if I had just said yes to Ruben once then dumped him later and didn't bully anyone I would have Charlie here with me now. Not under soil and dirt because of stupid teenage mistakes.

I can't change anything now except from keeping my new sets of triplets safe from harm.

What is that green gas? I am feeling sleeeeeeeeeepyyyyyy.

One hour later.

"Hello Sam, long time no see. It's me Ruben sweetheart." I couldn't help it I burst into tears it was happening again. Never again will he hurt my children. No one is dying today. I just lay there sobbing my heart out.

Tied to the same chair but in a different room. He sets up a camera.

"Don't worry only your family members will be able to see this."

At least no young children will see it. Freddie will not allow the younger ones watch it. Only Lillie and Lucas. Maybe.

"Hello Freddie I got her again. I see you knocked her up again. Smooth. So you have nine children together not counting the one I killed. So you have a happy family. Not for long freddo. She is mine and those twins shouldn't even be alive. Neither should the other seven. Well at least I got to kill one otherwise you would have the perfect ten."

He lifted up my top to show the stretched scars that say "my property do not touch."

"See she does belong to me. It is written right there. Don't worry Sam I will not hurt you yet. I will kill you children all three one at a time then kill you and me together. Then we will be together forever."  
"Ruben why don't you tell them where we are after you have given birth to the babies then they will live then we will be alone together okay? Just don't kill them it will just make me hate you more."  
"Okay. Well at least you got to see your children on their 18th. But now it is the day after and if you just breathe into this I will deliver your babies and keep them safe. Okay, I promise. Then we can be happy forever together. Like we should have been. My chimp on a bicycle."

"Yes that is a plan. But if they die or are not found in time you will go to hell. Even though you are already going there."

He gave me the sleepy gas and did the operation again. Then wrote the address on the camera lens.

They will come soon. Hopefully.

Freddie pov

It is happening again. Although we have an address we might not make it in time. Hopefully we do.

We are here finally. Ruben is lying on the floor dead. And Sam is lying on the bed motionless. Lillie, carly and Lucas grabbed the babies. An ambulance was on its way. Me and my mom walked over to Sam. I think she has been drugged, overdose. Here is the ambulance the babies are being looked over and Ruben is being carried away with a white sheet covering him. Then they came over to Sam.

"Sam wake up Sam it is Freddie." She opened her eyes quickly and spat out a pill. I am not quite sure what it is at the moment but by the worried look on the paramedics' faces it must be dangerous.

Yet again we make the journey to the hospital with our children but all surviving and the only damage being to Sam's lower abdomen. She will get stitches for that though.

We now have a little girl called Hope Faith Benson because we had to be hopeful and keep faith that it will not end up the same as last time.

Two boys called James and Michael.

Everything will be fine. All of them are dead Ruben died just then and the others died in prison. Security will be doubled now. The body guards will have to carry everything that could be a solution to any problem. A sensor that detects gas and other very important gadgets.

Sam will give her statement and then she will come with us home with the babies after everything has been checked over and then we will talk about it. Now every time it is Lillie and Lucas' birthday we will visit Charlie's grave and mourn her death. But we will also remain happy and careful for any things that may go wrong. Everyone will help us get past this and I and my children will help bring back to life the things that died in those fateful rooms.

Together we will make sure that she will no longer be broken, crying, scared or dying with every breath she takes.

Now she will be able to breathe air full of life not death and despair.


End file.
